“I got in!” “I got in!” “Tweet!” says sixth graders Lola Winchell, Lilian Olund, and Tucker Nobach. They had just gotten into their favorite colleges, Harvard, the University of Wisconsin, and Tweet Tweet University. The sixth graders are going to college because everyone at school thinks it is time to get rid of them. Are the sixth graders ready? What do the teachers have to say about this? Why are they graduating?
Teachers around the school at Cannon Falls High School and Middle School are talking about sixth graders graduating this year, with the average GPA at 1.2. Sixth grader Lola Winchell already received her cap and gown. “We have already gotten the date for graduation.” says Lola.“It means a lot that we are graduating, especially because the preschoolers graduated last year.” All the students at the high school and middle school were not surprised that the sixth graders excelled in their class about the best way to apply eyeshadow. Sixth grader Lillian Olund says, “The key is layering eyeshadows until the shade matches your eyes.” Olund aced the eyeshadow test with flying colors. Between this invaluable skill and the impressive homemade fries produced in the ‘Make it Like McDonald’s’ class, it’s no wonder why the sixth graders are graduating early.
Feeling confident about their impending graduation, more than half of the sixth-grade class has applied to Ivy League schools. According to the scholarship program at Harvard, students must have excelled at eyeshadow application in high school. (Or in the case of this year’s group of sixth graders, middle school.) “If we can graduate early, we can go to Harvard at 13!” says Lola Winchell, who was offered a full scholarship for another elite skillset, Trashketball.
Similar to Winchell, other prominent sixth graders are seeking noble professions. For example, Tucker Nobach will undoubtedly be president because of how amazing he is at the important subject of ‘Acting like a bird.’ “I was offered a scholarship to Tweet Tweet University,” proclaims Nobach.
When asked about how she felt, Olund, the first person to get into the University of Wisconsin, exclaimed “I am super proud of myself for acing the ‘How to Make Water’ class!” Meanwhile, Kason Lindahl is going to Florida State to specialize in Madden, while Lily Hovel is going to University of Wisconsin-River Falls to major in growing eggs.
While the sixth graders’ remain confident in themselves leading up to an early graduation, the teachers have an interesting perspective on this subject, seeing the pros and cons. The pros are that some sixth-grade teachers can go back to working at the prestigious Tweet Tweet University. Sixth-grade teacher Mrs. Otto confides “I am all for myself going back to the Tweet, but since 12% of the grade failed their “Eating Orange Juice” class, I am worried about going back.” The students understand their teacher’s concern, but they really want to go to college. To prove their seriousness to the teachers, the students bought them tickets to a trampoline park. “They should totally go to college!” says Mrs. Otto after she finished jumping. They bought their teacher’s trust.
Now that the sixth graders are graduating, maybe the 12th graders are going back to preschool. Maybe the preschoolers will come to the job market, or we find out the teachers are moving to the school. The confident sixth graders are excited about their impending graduation.
