“Attention all students, we are holding a competition to see who can sleep the longest. Unfortunately, 6th graders may not participate as they are younger and therefore can sleep longer, and that would be an unfair advantage. Anyone who would like to participate should show up to the auditorium on June 4th, 2025 at 3:30 pm. Forms to sign up will be found at the office and must be filled out on April 5, 2025. ” Principal Tim Hodges announces over the loudspeaker.
There is a new event happening at Cannon Falls Middle School/High School. Mr. Hodges is hosting the Ultimate Slumber Showdown. This is a competition to see who can sleep the longest. Mr. Hodges hopes to make it become an annual event. On the last day of school everyone who wants to participate is going to go to the auditorium. People are going to get attached to a machine that can sense if participants are actually sleeping or just have their eyes shut. The winner will earn a 4.0 GPA throughout the entire rest of the time they are at this school, and will graduate at the top of their class. Anyone who participates will receive a free t-shirt.
To prepare everyone participating, they are going to start taking classes on the importance of sleep and how to sleep for long periods of time. This class is going to be taught by the one and only Anne Davisson. She was chosen to teach this class because, in a recent survey, she stated that she gets “Around 8.5 hours of sleep.” Deep diving into the sleeping class, it is going to be titled Sleep 101. Topics that will be covered include; the importance of sleep, the science behind sleep, the impact of sleep on health, and healthy sleeping habits. Participants will spend roughly 2 weeks on every topic and have a quiz at the end of every week. This class will count towards an extracurricular and may be put on a college application. Mrs. Davisson has been studying the importance of sleep for many years and has found it quite interesting how the human brain works while we are sleeping. If anyone fails the class they won’t be allowed to participate in the competition. According to Mr. Hodges, “The reason we are having this competition is because according to a recent study sleeping in a space of learning is shown to improve IQ and test performance. Our school will have more funding and any money made from test score improvement will go towards new teaching equipment and items to improve learning environments.” Updating new equipment in classrooms will be beneficial for everyone’s academic success.
Many students are starting to come up with tactics to make sure they are prepared for the sleeping competition. Elliot Iverson said, “I am not going to sleep the entire week before the competition.” On the other hand, Holly Sullivan claims “ I am going to cut off all energy drinks and anything to do with caffeine, a month before the competition.” Taking a different route is Eleanor Montgomery, with “I am going to go to the waterpark the day before and completely exhaust myself.” Finally, Kinzley Rezac says “ I am going to eat a whole bunch of sugar to make myself have a sugar crash.” These tactics might work or be completely useless. One rule to clarify there will be no use of performance-enhancing drugs, such as sleeping pills, and anybody using these will be disqualified.
Mr. Hodges states, “We hope to see the entirety of the Cannon Falls Middle School High School.” One last thing to note is that this is partially a fundraiser so there is a five-dollar admission fee. Families who would like to watch their children are expected to be absolutely silent, no children under five are allowed in the room as they might cause a ruckus. Doors will be open at 3:00 pm, so students be there or be square. Sweet Dreams.
