A chorus of arguments has been ringing through the halls of Cannon Falls High School. It has been the source of division amongst friend groups and has caused strife in the classroom. Everyone seems to have an opinion, yet no one knows who is right. Only one question fits these criteria: Is it GIF or GIF? 

Clearly, it is pronounced GIF.

Students of Cannon Falls High School have no idea how to settle this debate. No linguist has proved helpful in quelling the tiffs, despite hundreds of searches for how to say “GIF” properly. CFHS even received a world record award for the most verbatim Google searches in a concentrated area. Although this is certainly an impressive accomplishment, many are wondering if the discord is worth burning bridges with peers.

The GIF war has infiltrated every aspect of high school life, including the classroom, the lunchroom, and open brawls in the parking lot. “My Independent Journalism classes have certainly been disrupted by this incessant arguing,” CFHS teacher John Fogarty said. “I haven’t been able to teach material since the start of the school year. Because as far as the students are concerned, the GIF versus GIF debate is the only material that matters.”

And, the state seems to agree. Gim Quarrel (pronounced Gim Quarrel) with the Minnesota Education Department said in a recent press release: “We are putting a pause to all formative curriculums in the face of a far more pressing issue. We must prioritize the GIF debate, and once that is settled, we can decide where to go from there.” Quarrel received significant backlash from his statement, as he pronounced it “GIF” instead of “GIF.” Wherever they fall on the GIF vs. GIF spectrum, everyone in the state of Minnesota seems to agree with Quarrel’s statement in that they wish to put typical English, Science, Math, and Social Studies classes on the back burner until the GIF feud is resolved. 

Disagreements abound, but there is an obvious solution to the problem. Everyone must agree that it is pronounced GIF to move on and build a good foundation for more important educational pursuits, such as counting blades of grass in the courtyard. As a society, we must stop this madness and come to a mutual agreement that it is pronounced GIF.