An important milestone for children is the first time they are taught how to swim. To a child, a pool can seem immense, limitless. This vast area of water can instill panic as the infinite gallons submerge the child. It is unimaginable that a parent would push their child into the pool rather than progressively guide them into the water. This in mind, why is it then that parents feel it is okay to push their children so hard to succeed in other aspects of life such as sports and academics rather than advise them into the right direction? These children are drowning under the pressure from their parents to be perfect. In life, it is more beneficial for a child to have a parent that is directing them instead of forcing them into decisions they see are best for the child. This conclusion is visible by looking at how driving children too hard to be successful can result in negative effects.

Children under the harsh pressure of parents focus on striving to be perfect in everything they do. That’s not necessarily a bad quality, except when this obsession to be impeccable interferes with their natural curiosity to take chances. A student that has these characteristics will tend to drift towards classes that they know they can succeed in rather than classes that are outside of their comfort zones such as classes like AP Lit or Calculus. When children are expected to be perfect, it causes them to be afraid of failure which then limits their interest to try new experiences. Also, when parents overly involve themselves in their children’s decisions, those children tend to be less self-reliant because they become dependent on their parents. Those kids won’t be kids forever. A child that is used to the dependency of a parent will soon become lost in an environment such as the University of Minnesota without having the ever constant aid of their parents. These effects are considerably mild, but there are more drastic outcomes. The pressure from parents to excel in life can result in anxiety disorders, depression, and alcohol and substance abuse. These pressures are affecting children mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Parents are so focused on their child achieving that A on an Analysis test or the winning goal in a State Championship game when in reality they should concentrate on making sure they have profitable life skills. Guiding children to have good work ethics, useful time management, and self-discipline is more beneficial for a child than having them engrossed in short term goals. These useful skills will propel children to more elevated accomplishments in their future. A kid that can recite the Gettysburg Address because his/her parent made them repeat it over and over again will most likely get an A. However, once that child moves on to college and their parent is no longer hovering over them, forcing them to do their homework, the child may stray from their responsibilities. Take that child and compare him/her to the kid who’s parents focused on teaching their child to self motivate themselves in order to get tasks done. The latter child will more likely manage their obligations better, like being able to balance a B average, a part time job at a local restaurant, and football practice. In addition to this proposal, parents should concentrate not only on what is best for the child but also what the child desires to do. An adolescent will thrive more in an environment that they want to be in rather than one a parent put them in because they felt it would be best. When picking classes in high school, a parent that forces their child to take strenuous science classes like Physics or Human Anatomy because they wish to see their child in the medical field is not taking in consideration for what the student wants. What if that student dreams of being an artist when he/she grows up? AP Biology will not help them achieve that goal, however Painting I may be what’s right for them. Parents should find a proper balance of involvement in their children’s decisions while giving them enough freedom to make choices on their own.

By allowing children to make their own decisions, a parent is giving the child a sense of control, which then teaches them how to be independent and responsible for their actions. Giving children the ability to decide for themselves what they think is best, allows them to think of the consequences and benefits of their choice. If a parent gives a teenager the option to go out and spend their Friday night with their friends at the movie theatre or stay home and study for their Civics test, this forces the kid to think of what is best for them. After debating the pros and cons of either situation the teenager learns to compromise and decides that they will spend their Friday night out and wake up early Saturday morning to get their homework done. Not only is this situation making the teenager aware of their choices but also teaching them how to manage their time which is a useful life skill mentioned earlier. Achieving something by oneself builds up self-esteem which is beneficial for children. A high self-esteem produces self-confidence which may drive children to try new or harder tasks, like joining a new extracurricular such as Speech or a new sport like lacrosse. A parent can still play an important part in decision making for children but rather than choosing for them, a parent could simply voice their opinion, expressing what they feel is right. Recalling stories or life experiences that pertain to the situation the child is in may help the child when contemplating choices. This solution allows parents to be involved yet not controlling. Having the ability to make choices themselves is beneficial for children.

It is clear that parents overly involved may feel like they are helping their children when in reality they are not. By teaching children valuable life skills and giving them the space to make their own decisions, parents are allowing children to achieve much more. Children are different in so many ways. Some kids learn to swim better by just jumping into the pool with no hesitation while others prefer clinging to the wall with their floaties on. This diversity goes for decision making also. Some kids thrive off the freedom given from parents and others may choose to seek guidance. Either way a parent should be there for their child but allow them to be their own person.