In a recent battle to prevent Kodak from shutting down its film producing factories, movie director Martin Scorsese commented that we don’t “take away an artist’s paper and pencil because they can draw on a digital tablet.”  This quip, however, may have just launched the latest environmental movement: discontinuing paper completely.

For years people have been pushed to recycle paper and save rainforests, but are we ready to take the next giant step towards going green?  Environmentalist Fiorvante Fragione believes so.

“We’ve been moving towards this since the first word processor was created,” says Fragione.  “Then came things like email and text messages.  Kids don’t even need paper to pass notes in class anymore.”

Fragione’s biggest argument in favor of the discontinuation of paper is the issue of textbooks and the increasing popularity of tablets.  “Why lug around heavy books with sturdy covers when you can simply carry an incredibly breakable tablet around with you.  Surely kids of all ages will be responsible enough to handle these devices.  And besides, they’re only a few hundred dollars.  What are taxes for but to be wasted on the youth of America?”

Also interviewed was Fragione’s son.  He, despite his father’s leanings, believes paper will live on forever.

“If paper is discontinued, nobody would send letters,” said the son, who asked to remain anonymous as to avoid ridicule from his more technologically inclined friends and is obviously 20 years behind the times.  “Writing on a piece of paper expresses much more emotion and realness.  The world is losing realness.”

“Besides,” he continued, “digital textbooks require more responsibility than paper ones.  What happens if a charger gets lost?  The tablet is rendered useless until another cord is found.  People, not just kids, are careless with electronics.  How many people do you see walking around with cracked phone screens?  Kids, teens, even adults cannot be trusted to maintain a tablet.  If the tablet is not functioning properly, by fault of either the operator or some internal flaw, the student will miss out on a day of learning.  And if the internet goes out?  School would essentially have to shut down, so much is linked into the internet.”

Ignoring his hipster son’s seemingly valid points, Fragione, who commented that the internet is so powerful nothing could stop it, and nothing short of a nuclear apocalypse could disrupt a school’s Wi-Fi, and his fellow anti-paper activists have started lobbying large paper companies, hoping their few numbers will be enough to shut the huge industry down.