Ancient artifacts found in office

Officials are carbon dating John Fogarty right now to find out what his actual age is. On April 5th, 2016, archaeologists found ancient artifacts hidden in John Fogarty’s office. Also know as the Lantern meeting place, the office was littered with ancient items of lost civilization with a forgotten language that experts are working to decipher as of now. Carbon dating of the artifacts place them at around 50,000 years old. “These are the oldest artifacts we have ever seen, but what we see on them is even more interesting” said lead researcher, Ryan Schlichting “We could learn more from this find, than anything else in the history of the world. We saw pictures of a man, who looks exactly like a debate coach, teaching prehistoric monkeys how to make fire.” Students are questioning what Fog’s age is. The findings that were found here are even more important than any other finding ever. The results are in from the carbon dating and apparently Fog is so old, he couldn’t even be carbon dated. Maybe the scroll on his door is right. Fog must be eternal, the oldest object in the universe. Maybe next time, they should study Fogarty instead of artifacts. Is Fog secretly an immortal? These questions and more I will answer in my next article. This is investigative journalist, Ryan Fogarty, , Fogs father, signing off.