Death by ice cream

Becca Benson
Imagine all the ice cream eaten in an average human lifetime. The average amount of ice cream consumed in the U.S is 48 pints per person. Multiply that number by the population of the country and it calculates to approximately 15,307 million pints that are eaten per year in the United States. This may seem like a massive supply, but it pales in comparison to the size of the giant ice cream meteor that is rapidly spiraling towards the Earth. The meteor is estimated to pummel the Earth in one hour from now. The government is issuing giant metal spoons for US citizens to eat the alien ice cream. The EPA, or Environmental Protection Agency, has released precautions in attempt to shrink the death toll. They suggest wearing winter hats to prevent brain freeze, and are currently in contact with scientists to comprehend the amount of damage. Buildings will fall, cars will be smashed, and the world will NEVER be the same again. The comet is vanilla flavored, although it may seem like strawberry, due to the blood of the people crushed and compacted inside of it. Regardless of the humans inside, this ice cream is predicted to taste out of this world! Get your spoons out and hats on, it could strike any minute now!