Nathan Baszuro

Gavin Harrington poses with the one and only Alexander Hamilton.

Hangin’ with Hamilton

WARNING: SATIRE LED Staff Writer Gavin Harrington interviewed founding father Alexander Hamilton.

Today I have gotten the once-in-a-lifetime chance to interview one of the founding fathers, in both flesh and blood, Alexander Hamilton!

Now, how in the world did I get an interview with someone so influential? A Founding Father must be incredibly busy, right? Well, it was quite easy. I knew that an old guy like Hamilton wouldn’t have something like an email, so I’d have to find a source — an acquaintance maybe. After doing a quick google of “Hamilton,” I found this guy’s name, Lin-Manuel Miranda. He did some kind of musical… I don’t really know or care, yet it was clear that getting in contact with Hamilton through this guy was my way in. 

And through a quick email to this Miranda fellow, I was able to get an interview with Hamilton himself; who turned out to be Lin-Manuel Miranda: “I was Hamilton, yes. And I would love to be in your interview.”

Gavin: Good afternoon, Mr. Hamilton. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today.

Hamilton: Well of course, hello. And might I say, it’s interesting that we’re jumping into character right away.

Gavin: Yes, yes. You’re just as punctual as I would have expected. Let us begin the questions, starting with your character — values in other words.

Hamilton: I would describe myself as a diligent, dedicated man who has a silver tongue and a knack for writing persuasive arguments.

Gavin: I’d say so Mr. Hamilton, you wrote over half the Federalist papers. Am I correct in saying this?

Hamilton: Well yes… I-I did.

Gavin: Now, let me ask you a serious question. To what effect did your upbringing play in how you are today?

Hamilton: Well I grew up in Inwood, in Manhattan, New York.

Gavin: I may be confused but I thought you were from the West Indies?

Hamilton: Oh, excuse me. I misinterpreted the situation — it’s new to me for a journalist to be so inclined that I stay in character. Yes, I grew up in Charlestown on the island of Nevis. And it was on that island that I learned the values of independence.

Gavin: I see. Is this independence what made you so alike to other founders like George Washington? And, if I may ask, what was your personal relationship with him?

Hamilton: Through what I’ve read, I would believe that these men had a major overlap in ideology, especially Hamilton and Washington… Would you want me to talk about my friendship with Christopher Jackson on set? We play Hamilton and Washington.

Gavin: Wait, what do you mean by “set” and “play”? Is this a government term I’m unaware of?

Hamilton: Could we pause for a moment… Do-do you think I’m Hamilton himself?

Gavin: Yes I do. Who else could be sitting in front of me right now, besides one of the most important historical figures in U.S. history of course?

Hamilton: Yeah right… I’ll have to conclude this interview. I just remembered that I have to uh… check on the Bank of New York.

Gavin: Oh ok. Well goodbye Alexander Hamilton, it was a nice meeting… 

Lin-Manuel Miranda was out the door before Gavin could finish his sentence. 

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