Hoovering the bestseller lists

Jumping to first place on every bestseller list, Colleen Hoover is a name which has singlehandedly changed the romance genre. Her books have swept the nation, offering inspiring stories that are true to her namesake: vacuum romances. In fact, people in Great Britain have coined the term “hoovering” for whenever they vacuum as a tribute to her.

Hoover published several vacuum fanfiction novels, all of which are thrilling reads. 

In particular, It Ends With a Clean Carpet is the most popular of Hoover’s novels. In the story, Shark Vroom runs a shop as an extension of the Colleen Hoover imagined universe. She reminisces on her days with Dyson Cleaner, her first love. But then, she meets vacuum serviceman Roomba Carpet and they have a whirlwind romance. They get married, but Roomba runs into Shark’s ankles, repeatedly injuring her, and even causing her to fall down some stairs. Shark and Dyson reconnect and loads of scandalous drama ensues. 

Independent Journalism teacher John Fogarty believes that “Colleen Hoover’s vacuum novels are the epitome of fine literature. It is important that every student at Cannon Falls High School reads them.” And, the school board seems to agree. In every class, regardless of subject, students are required to read and analyze the endeavours of Shark, Dyson, and Roomba. 

Hoover’s books offer a new perspective on an overflooded genre. Silly tropes are out, nuanced relationships are in. Through the lens of a vacuum cleaner, Hoover beautifully portrays the complexities of the human experience. It Ends With a Clean Carpet is particularly resonant amongst the youth of America, inspiring them to look for the Dyson Cleaner to their Shark Vroom. 

Additionally, all of her books are incredibly well written, with no plot holes or flaws of any sort. She also employs superior diction, varied syntax, and a paragraph structure that cannot be rivaled by any of the classics.

“I’ve never loved a book as much as I love It Ends With a Clean Carpet. It throws the classics like To Kill a Mockingbird and Of Mice and Men completely out the window,” junior Cadence Kilmer gushed. 

It Ends With a Clean Carpet is singlehandedly the greatest work of writing ever written in human history. Packed with thrilling twists and turns, it is surely a crucial read for a responsible member of society.