Insulin-packed smoothies sit in the fridge of a happy American diabetic.
Smoothies stand up to Big Pharma
In light of elevated insulin prices, a new smoothie brand has stepped up to the plate.
While strawberries and bananananas are key smoothie ingredients, insulin has been making a recent appearance in smoothies, and American diabetics are grateful for it.
As Big Pharma causes insulin prices to soar, a certain Sam’s Club smoothie brand is taking action to combat the burgeoning issue. Recently, the Member’s Mark premium fruit juice smoothies have added a new ingredient to their repertoire: insulin.
For American diabetics struggling to afford their astronomically expensive insulin, these smoothies provide a cheap and effective alternative. These smoothies are something of a godsend, saving lives (and dollars) with each sugary sip.
Not only are these smoothies a cost-effective alternative to a more concentrated form of insulin, there is some speculation that they are a much safer and more potent alternative to conventional insulin. Bianca Caputo, a senior at CFHS and pharmacist of 17 years, stated that “Our patients are healthier and happier than ever. These smoothies are just what America needs, they level glucose levels without leveling your financial foundation.”
Ava Brokate, a spokesperson for the smoothie brand, stated that “Our smoothie is made to better the lives of Americans, from sea to shining sea.”
However, this new influx in insulin raises an alarming question: where exactly did Sam’s Club get all of this insulin? Well, it appears that when digging holes to plant more coconut trees, smoothie makers accidentally unlocked an underground reservoir of insulin. They began to extract this precious, life-giving liquid from the depths of the earth and mix it into smoothies by the gallon, fortifying their smoothies with a layer of diabetes protection and providing the delectable breakfast delicacies with a distinct earthy tone.
So far, this special smoothie insulin, now called “sminsulin” by pharmacists nationwide has stood up to clinical trials quite nicely. After dangerously high spikes upon drinking the sugary snacks, the blood sugar of diabetics lowers to a safe, healthy level, which is the point of insulin, after all. The product has tested so well, in fact, that the company is planning to transition over to full-time sminsulin production.
