Nathan Baszuro

Nathan Baszuro was able to capture an image of the alien encounter with his smartphone. (Alien images fromUser:Crobard~commonswiki)

UFOund Earth

WARNING SATIRE A cadre of aliens recently landed in the high school courtyard.

On March 31 at 8:32 AM, just seconds after poor Mrs. Hernke fell victim to an exploding kiln, a UFO crashed in the CFHS courtyard.

Students in the surrounding area report seeing a large flash of light and hearing a loud “bang” sound believed to be the UFO crossing the sound barrier mere milliseconds before it smashed into the ground. In fact, it met the Earth with such astronomically high speed that it caused an earthquake: the Cannon Falls school building and surrounding area experienced a 5.1 magnitude earthquake. After the UFO had struck the ground and smoke began rise, a cluster of aliens crawled out of the dilapidated vehicle. Some immediately ran towards the woods, some vanished into thin air, and some simply wandered into the cafeteria where the lunch ladies treated them to a nice meatball sub.

Nathan Baszuro was able to capture an image of the rather odd events, saying that “Instead of screaming for help, I decided whip out my phone and take a picture. I later posted it on Instagram, gotta get those likes.”

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